Make No Excuses! When you fail, do you make excuses? Do you take responsibility for your actions or blame others? What is your excuse for poor performance? Excuses keep you from looking at the real problem! Excuses will make you give up! Do you start out with good intentions and tolerate poor results? Why?
Background
I wrote an article about successful and unsuccessful people which states successful people make no excuses and unsuccessful people blame others for their misfortune. Taking responsibility for your actions will help you achieve success. Blaming others is a much easier answer even if it does not solve the problem. Is this a learned response? It gives the appearance of relieving the person of responsibility. Children learn this early if the parents accept it.
Accepting or excusing poor performance is very negative and far reaching. As a child, you probably heard your parents blame the boss or economic conditions or the weather for why they cannot achieve results. It may even be valid, but it should not stop them. In my home, the improbable occurred! I had parents who should not succeed, but did. They never accepted their plight and overcame every obstacle. They never let anything stop them from success.
My Background
Growing up in my parent’s home meant there were no excuses for poor performance! They never made excuses for poor performance. My parents like many others came to this country as immigrants and built businesses in the least likely time. Owning a successful business is an accomplishment at any time. They did it during the Great Depression! They built a custom home in 1929 and took on a huge mortgage in their day of $85 per month. This was during a time when the common wage was $20 per week.
Early Years
This “can do” home environment was everywhere! I was expected to do my best in everything I did. I had lots of practice because my parents took me to meetings and I saw how they performed. If that was not enough, I worked with them (for free) from as early as I can remember. On Saturdays, I would go to my mother’s store and did little tasks around the store. I saw how she worked tirelessly and learned a lot. I learned failure was never an option. I was expected to help and perform well.
I learned responsibility and discipline very early in life. The responsibility came from the tasks I was assigned and discipline came from the expectation that I had to perform. I never thought about it at the time, it was just expected of me. Discipline is probably one my strong suits and it helps me complete tasks. Holding me accountable meant I was on the line for completing the task or goal. It changed how I responded to challenges and I started to feel that I had more control over myself. Was that independence?
What came next were goals and setting more goals! Setting goals and creating plans to achieve them were second nature! This was my opportunity to learn soft skills. Soft skills are personal attributes such as work ethic, dependability, interpersonal skills, critical thinking, integrity, negotiation and leadership to name a few. These skills help me succeed where others do not. I tend to lump them together and call them determination.
I learned that excuses were never acceptable because my parents never would accept them. I would set goals and achieve them! The more I accomplish the more I can accomplish. Success gives more success because I learned how to succeed. Why would I make excuses? I set out to lose weight and I succeed!. Was it easy? No, but I practiced for a lifetime. Did I always succeed? No, sometimes I failed, but I keep trying.
Final Thoughts
Making excuses is just a way of not taking responsibility. Blaming others means you are not accountable. The acceptance of excuses means failure is acceptable. It is persistence that overcome failure not excuses. When excuses are acceptable, we are accepting failure. Do you make excuses? Are they acceptable? Start off 2012 the right way and hold yourself accountable. Set goals, monitor your progress and adjust your efforts. What are you going to do? Make No Excuses!
Photo by: Identity Photogr@phy
Carnivals
Passive Income to Retires hosted the Yakezie Carnivaland included Most Likely to Succeed
Money Cactus hosted the Carnival of Personal Finance and included What Is Rich?
Make No Excuses!
People love their excuses. I do think the context of failure does sometimes matter, as it can tell you whether or not the failure will likely be repeated. In other words, I guess it’s not always an “all your fault” or “not your fault” scenario, as complex problems often have a multifactorial origin. If you are going to properly dissect a problem in order to increase performance, I do think it is alright to figure out what really happened, and if in doing so, you realize that you didn’t do as badly as you thought you did (i.e., had extenuating circumstances), then that’s fine. However, I think the personal intent is particularly important: are you going over the mistakes to absolve yourself of blame or looking to learn from the process, regardless of whether that means you take on more blame or not?
Holding yourself accountable and evaluating the results will tell you a lot. How you use the information will either help you avoid the same result or become an excuse.
Easier said than done! But a worthy cause is worth fighting for!
True, it is not easy, but change never is!
I like the statement, The more I accomplish, the more I can accomplish”. This is definitely true. And no matter what, you have to keep trying. If you do not succeed, you at least will learn from your mistakes.
I think you have to internalize that kind of thinking to have it actually work. Many people give up too soon! Successful are no better than the rest of us, but they keep trying after the rest give up. Isn’t that what it is all about? Just keep trying!
Of course, I will always keep trying. That is what it is all about. 🙂 Thanks for cheering me on!
Trying separates the successful people from the others. The others stop too soon!
I often tell my students that we often learn more from our failures than our successes. The real problem is that society teaches children that failure is for losers.
It is only failure, if you stop there! One can fail a test, but get help and pass the class. Most successful people fail multiple times and eventually succeed.
I immediately thought of Edison. Failure is a part of discovery and is invaluable to us scientists!
I think is invaluable to success! I learn more from my mistakes than I do from successes.
The sad thing is that the people that used to continually make excuses usually ended up with less of a lifestyle and were generally far less better off in the long run. I see so many scenarios everyday now in the news that show people whining and complaining in the hopes of easy money, or someone bailing them out. This seems to the be the strategy of the last couple generations to hit adulthood (especially the one I belong to sadly).
Taking responsibility for what you do or don’t do is part of maturity. It is also a trait of successful people. Maybe I should add no excuses and no whining!.:)
I find it very interesting to try and get beyond the excuses people give and figure out the deeper causes. Great fut! I don’t think I use excuses but then again…who knows.
Someone along the way accepted these excuses which made them okay. IIf no one accepted excuses, everyone would just perform better! It would be an interesting experiment! 🙂
Failing is not losing, unless you don’t take something positive away from the experience. No excuses here!
Failing is just an obstacle on the way to success. I think I learn more from my failures than I do from success. It is because I think more about the failures.
People respect you much more when you accept responsibility for mistakes (even blaming yourself for things that are other people’s mistakes like when your subordinates screw up at work and you take accountability as a leader). It distinguishes you from a sea of whiners.
Very true! Taking responsibility should be what is expected. As individuals, we have more control over things then we think. Something as simple as communication skills can make us ineffective.
We learn more from our failures than success. I “try” to not make excuses. Try being the keyword here. Every now and then I do catch myself making excusing. Having a partner who thinks differently (my husband) helps very much here. He doesn’t judge me but helps me see that sometime my excuses are just excuses and not really valid.
Having someone to point out when you are making excuses.is very helpful. This will keep you accountable.
I worked at our family business growing up too – starting in 6th grade I was doing things like scrubbing toilets and hauling paint cans up and down narrow stairs. Not fun but I learned a ton about working hard. I’m thankful my parents taught me from a young age to try my hardest, not give up and not make excuses!!!
I don’t think I appreciated what those experiences taught me until I was an adult! I learned how to handle tasks that I did not enjoy and used what I did enjoy to justify it. Not bad for a 7 year old!
I hate it when things set me back but I learned a long time ago that dealing with them and getting past them was the best way to succeed in life. Some people never get it and those who do go on to great things.
I find many people give up too soon. They hit an obstacle and give up. In my experience success is never easy, it takes determination to get through the obstacles.
One of the biggest things I have learned over the last few years is that I am in control and responsible for my actions and reactions. I used to blame others for why I did something or how I responded but now I don’t. I am actually much better at controlling my reactions which in turn has resulted in better outcomes.
Congratulations, that is the first step to success. Learning from your mistakes is much more important than what you accomplish. It will help you achieve much more in the long run.
I love it! I learned about myself over the past years that I need to be accountable to someone, to anyone for me to thrive. That’s why I STOPPED MAKING EXCUSES and started my blog a couple years ago
Whatever works for you! I look in the mirror each night and ask myself if I made my best effort? My answer should always be yes! When it is not, I redouble my effort. In the end, we must hold ourselves accountable and to high standard.
I don’t make excuses; I know that if I fail, it’s my fault. I agree that the way you are raised will show you how to set goals and overcome obstacles. Great article!
Thanks, parents have the biggest influence on children for good and bad reasons. My parents were great at achieving impossible goals!
You nailed it KC! I made excuses or blamed everyone but myself. I was always a victim and never held myself accountable. No more. This lesson should be taught to everyone as soon as possible. It really makes for a healthier, happier, and more successful life.
Build on your successes, work on your weaknesses and keep trying.
Happy new year, krants! I agree that excuses are just a form of not taking responsibility. I do think that people do things by mistake, or things are done to them that are certainly not their fault, but ultimately, it is still up to them to change things for the better.
It is always up to the individual to take charge of their lives. Things happen, but you can handle these things and come out stronger.