Give me your money or your life? In the interest of full disclosure, this is not a hold up! Do you have to choose? Every personal finance expert talks about the need for a budget, reducing your debt and saving for retirement. After forty (40) years what do you have?
The Most Important Question
This is not an either or question! What kind of life do you want to have? Are you willing to deny yourself all the pleasures of life so you can have a great retirement? There are a lot of personal finance experts that say sacrifice now for something later. The mantra is delay gratification! It sounds like a financial diet to me. Can you do this for forty (40) years? I did not and I want to share how I did it.
The Early Years
I was very fortunate to have parents who taught me a lot about money. They never sat me down and actually taught me anything. In fact, they never had any time for me. I was sent away to school at eleven years old. They worked 24/7 and never had time for me. Don’t feel sorry for me, I turned out okay and I broke the cycle with my own children. I just thought you need to understand what influenced me growing up. I grew up hungry for recognition and I was always fascinated with money.
My parents sent me to a fancy prep school, but gave me very little money as an allowance. I received $2 per week when many of my fellow students received as much as $40 per week. To put this in context, everything was paid, unless I wanted an afternoon snack on the weekend. This materially affected me. I was forced to save my money to have some of the things my friends could buy with their increased allowance. I was always a saver, but this kept me inline.
For six (6) years, I was away at school. Every summer, my parents kept me busy taking classes or going to summer camp. They did not have time for me! I graduated prep school at seventeen (17) and found my first job. I earned a lot of money as a commission salesman. I used those funds as my spending money in college. I think I did that to have some independence. I paid myself an allowance. I had $10 per week to cover laundry, Sunday night meal, dating and haircuts. Things were less expensive in the sixties (60s), but I had to be creative.
When I needed additional money, I did paid laboratory experiments, took in ironing and reduced my expenses. My college years taught me how to survive with practically no money. I learned how to date for free or very little money. University football or sports were included in the fees, but everyone went for drinks after the game. A couple draft beers had to last and a lot of double dating. I found free art gallery opening, beach outings, picnics and long walks were some of dates.
After Graduation
I met my wife in college and I am married forty-three (43) years. This is not the time to express my love; instead we have the same goals, values and enjoy the same things. I try to get the most value out of everything we do and she provides the wonderful environment for it. We started out without any debt, one new car (graduation present) and some savings. I was facing the draft and I do not mean the NFL! I was drafted a few months after I graduated college into the army. This upset all my plans! I faced going to Vietnam, leaving home and a new wife. I was lucky and was stationed at the army prison teaching business classes.
I left the army thinking I lost time. I took advantage of every opportunity to accumulate great experience to ready myself for my eventual career. I did not want to work forty (40) years and retire. By the time I hit thirty-one (31) years old, I had my dream home on the hill, two (2) children, and a plan to reach financial independence. In seven (7) years, I achieved it! My children went to private school, paid for their college and we had nice family vacations. I took on only a modest amount of debt to do this. My mortgage was small, car loans were small and no credit card debt.
Final Thoughts
I have a very good life! No apologies! Some of you will say it was because of no student debt or no credit card debt. I graduated without debt because my parents paid for college. The rest was up to me! I chronicled my journey to success before. Do you really think the outcome would be different if I started with debt? I don’t! It may have taken longer, but the result would be the same. I made a lot of choices to avoid debt. What was my secret? I learned how to live on very little and savings were always a big part of my plan. Putting emphasis on what you value most and finding ways to achieve it. You do not have to choose money or your life?
Photo by: Inha Leex Hale
A born winner will win no matter what the circumstances are! Congrats KC!
You know, regardless of whether KC would have turned out differently if he never had debt, I’m glad that he didn’t have it. I think there’s a real need for examples of how can lead lives without Sallie Mae and other consumer debt. I enjoyed reading this 🙂
Thanks, but I was fortunate to have parents who paid for school. My financial skills came from an interest and desire to do well. I turned my skills and talent into a career.
Very true, is it nature or nurture? If you had to choose money or a great life, which would you pick? Can you have it all?
Great story KC – enjoyed the lesson about saving while in school. I should have done more of that!
I learned from experience to live on virtually nothing. It made me creative and resourceful.
I also did some saving when I was in school but not as much as you did… I’m glad that it worked out for you. Thanks for sharing this nice story.
Many people don’t realize how easy it is to be personally rich. You hit the nail on the head when you said. “Do you really think the outcome would be different if I started with
debt? I don’t! It may have taken longer, but the result would be the
same. I made a lot of choices to avoid debt. What was my secret? I
learned how to live on very little and savings were always a big part of
my plan.” It’s about discipline and focusing on your goals
I believe just about anyone can succeed if they want it badly enough! You have to be willing to sacrifice temporarily for something better in the future.
Savings was a habit! Savings meant choices and freedom. It gave me more control over my life.
Great thought provoker as always. I would have to say that I value life more than money. No I don’t want to owe thousands in debt but I also don’t want to restrict myself from living the life that I really want. In the end money is only money but it is the experiences and memories that you make that last a lifetime and are what you truly reflect on later on in your life. I dont’ ever want to have regrets about things I should have done but didn’t because of money.
The journey should be filled with experiences and things worth remembering versus denying yourself everything for forty (40) years.
Living below your means can help you reach your goals. People who strive to make more money to keep up with their high spending habits will always find themselves falling behind, if you ask me. 🙂
I agree with you. Every time I received an increase or promotion, I banked half the increase. It also helps that my wife supports the same goals.
I think they are not tightly coupled. I can have money and no life. Fortunately I think i have both, just like you feel for yourself
Money provides choices! You can spend, save or waste it. You can have a great life with little or no money, you choose how you spend it.
Interesting story. Thanks for sharing.
I think those experiences shaped and influenced me. Along the way, I picked up some interesting skills like discipline, goal setting and determination.
By having to manage your money at such a young age, you developed the necessary skills to succeed later in life. I tip my hat to your AND your parents.
I guess it is a good reason to teach children about money and how to save.
Most people think of your money or your life and think of living a pauper’s life. You show it was different. You enjoyed your life with private school for your kids and nice vacations, but on the day to day expenses, you saved and were frugal. I see very little here in the way of meals out frequently or high car turnover. Thanks for the motivational post.
We had dinners out, but they were inexpensive. The only extravagance was a once a year dinner for our anniversary or maybe a second to celebrate our birthdays.
Great post, I love stories about a successful journey. Money or life don’t have to be a choice, but a lot of people get caught up in it. Personally I’m all about wealth because it can be financial or personal and come in many forms. Ultimately your life is what you make of it, through your own decisions and actions.
I have said many times that I got to do everything I wanted to do. I have a rich and full life and that has nothing to do with money.
Excellent and inspiring. I wished many could reflect back and say that. Wealth is a tool/means to live the kind of life we want, but it is also important to realize that sometimes not a lot of it is required. Rich can apply to several non-monetary aspects of our lives as well
Thanks for writing this and well done on breaking the cycle. As to the question, I have been asking myself the same for sometime now. My answer is that life is for living, not surviving – we can have fun and build wealth.
Absolutely! I have had a great life, wonderful wife and family and managed to achieve financial freedom. It does not take much money to enjoy life.
man you got lucky, I’m still paying for my college, but no regrets. Just starting out in life with my new wife here 😀
I do not know if I would call it luck. As I have expressed before, my parents were overachievers and demanded a lot. I think I exceeded their expectations, but I never heard it from them. It was important for me to break the cycle! Congratulations on your recent marriage.
Very true! I think almost all of my most memorable experiences had nothing to do with money. These were memories with friends and family that I will always cherish.
I have been asking myself this question for many years and try to maintain balance. I have always been a voracious saver, but luckily my hubby forces us to spend some cash on fun and travel:)
My wife and I do not deny ourselves anything that is important, but we put savings first. We go out a couple times a month with friends, but do not spend very much. Earlier this year, we went to New Orleans with friends and last year we went to Vancouver. Two years ago, we went on a cruise of England, Scotland and Ireland. Next year, we are taking another Mediterranean cruise.
Great story, thanks for sharing! I love hearing about other bloggers backgrounds and the choices they’ve made with money.
Like you I’ve learned how to live on next to nothing and I found that even though I make more money now, I still for the most part live like I always have and now I’m working towards using that excess to pay off debt and get a nice savings built up.
Soon (5.5 years away) when I retire again, I will have to learn how to spend versus saving. I will have to make small changes over the next few years to get ready.
Amazing journey and you definitely showed you can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it!
I believe it is possible for anyone! You just have to want it enough
Loved the story, KC. My parents didn’t spend a whole lot of time on the subject of money and finances, but they did expect for me to make my own way early on. There was no allowance or pocket money. I’ve both tried to break the cycle (by teaching my kids about money) and follow their exampe (work for that iTouch, young man!)
It may be generational or first generation immigrants, but I broke the cycle. My adult children learned a lot by observing and a lot of good talks.
Congrats on your 43 years of marriage! That’s fantastic Krant!
Life always! However, money is a fun game!
Thanks, Sam. Lack of money certainly affects your life much more. After you reach a comfortable economic level, money is like a score of how well you are doing.
Wow 43 years of marriage is amazing! So you are in your 60’s now? Thank you for sharing your lifestory and the wisdom that you have accrued in these years. It really shines in your writing 🙂
Thank you, I just turned 65 years old! I used to think that was old until I reached it. I found out it is just a number and youthful outlook trumps it.