Lies are things we tell ourselves because we cannot face the truth! Lies are false statements to a person or group made by another person or group who knows it is not the whole truth, intentionally. Am I handsome if I am not? Am I smart if I am not? How do I see myself is very important relative to my self image. The lies I tell myself are part of my self confidence! What lies do you tell yourself?
Imagine how you would feel if you told yourself you were ugly, stupid, overweight, etc. There are people, more than you realize, have low self esteem. What is surprising is they are supermodels, accomplished professionals and many others. Our self-image is how we see ourselves, how others see us and how we perceive others see us. A negative self-image can affect everything we do. Just think of how teenage girls are affected by negative images.
You may think this is an argument to lie to yourself to build up your self esteem, but it is not. When I was young, I was filled with insecurity and some negative thoughts. I never let those negative thoughts take over my life. As an adult, I know I was no different than other children or people, but insecure at the time. I had friends, accomplishments and a bright future which I realize now. I worked very hard to please my parents and admiration of others. It took a lot to change my thinking.
How did I turn this around? I told myself lies to overcome my insecurities. Perhaps, they were not really lies, but stressing the positive versus the negatives. I was not very tall, particularly handsome or a super athlete, but I was popular and likeable. I learned a good personality and reputation trumps a lot of my shortcomings. I had other skills such as discipline, tenacity, determination and problem solving skills. I found that I could do many things well, but not outstanding.
I learned that I could try things even if I was not the best at it. I played football, knowing I would never be outstanding. I convinced myself to try by telling myself effort would be rewarded. I was on the crew in college because I was willing to try. I knew I was not the best, but I could learn the skills. Again, I convinced myself to try because it was a worthwhile experience. The lies I told myself were intended to allow me to try even if I failed. I think it helped me succeed!
What do you do when you are faced with impossible goals or events? I know that I can convince myself to try things others do not. Are these lies or just persuasion? I think you should test your limits with what you do. Teenagers do it naturally and drive their parents crazy. After all, the teenage years are tough anyway when you are becoming an adult. Getting out of your comfort zone allows you to grow, but what do you have to tell yourself to test your limits?
Very early (7 years old), I learned I was good at making money. It was not easy at first because I had to overcome my shyness. I did not have the usual paper route or lemonade stand. I charged for overflow parking on my parent’s land and learned a great deal about business. More importantly, I gained confidence that I could accomplish something. I kept taking opportunities to join organizations such as the Boy Scouts and 4-H Club because I wanted to do something.
Filled with insecurity, I told myself lies to feel comfortable in these different organizations. Both organizations allowed me to feel as though I could achieve goals. Learning to work together toward a goal reduced my anxiety and increased my self confidence. A variety of fund raising activities added to my confidence because I sold so much candy. My first summer job really tested my confidence because I was a door to door salesman. My goal was to earn spending money and this was my way of doing it.
I kept telling myself I could do it and it seemed to work. Sure, I had some past success, but now I needed the money to live in college. It worked because I averaged four to five times minimum wage per hour. Was it enough to get through my first year? Absolutely! I did supplement my income during the year taking occasional paid experiments and other opportunities. Early success creates more confidence! When I put together my plan for financial independence, I knew my determination would help me achieve it.
The message is clear; tell yourself whatever you need to hear to convince yourself to try new things. What do you have to lose? Most, if not all successful people fail before they succeed! It starts with your attitude and your belief that you will succeed. The lies I tell myself become less about lies and more about believing I can succeed. Anything you try that is new is scary, but you have to try it anyway. If you never try or participate, you cannot succeed. What lies do you tell yourself to test your limits?
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What lies do you tell yourself to test your limits?