In case you are wondering, I am not dating! I just thought I should share some information about a dating service that answers the money issue. You won’t have to ask your date about money because you will know their credit score! As a service to my readers, I thought I would dedicate some time to discuss dating services and does it answer the real question. How is your FICO score?
I find it interesting that you can meet someone and marry, but never talk about what is really important. In this case, money is just one of the important things! Some of you may find this uncomfortable for a variety of reasons. I find it funny, that it is easier to talk about politics, religion or sex than talking about money. Is money and how you use it more controversial than anything else?
When do you bring up money when you are dating? I found a dating service that answers the question for you. Creditscoredating.com and Datemycreditscore.com will answer the credit score question! That is the good news although it does not guarantee you will fall in love with a person with a good credit score. A good credit score is certainly better than a bad one. Does a good credit score mean you are more compatible? There should be less financial conflicts! Perhaps!
I think a credit score is just addressing one issue. There are many more involved in a good marriage, although I like the concept of getting that issue out of the way. Do you think that a good credit score will indicate generosity of spirit or spending habits? Of course not! A credit score just means he or she is financially responsible with their bills. I have a friend who is very responsible, but has credit card debt. A high score does not tell us enough about the individual, does it? You may pay your bills on time, but have a negative net worth!
How we spend our money, attitudes about debt and investing is much more important than a credit score. A credit score is similar to asking your height and weight. You could figure out the person’s Body Mass Index (BMI). BMI is a measure of weight proportionate to height. In other words, you can evaluate whether the person is overweight or obese. I think I would know it by just looking at the person. A good credit score may be more complicated, but it only says the person is financially responsible.
A credit score is a little bit more telling than a BMI score, but not much. A BMI score will not tell me if the person is healthy. A credit score does not tell me about their personal finance values, goals or net worth. A credit score just shows that you made your payments on time, and you did not max out your credit. Is that enough to determine financial compatibility? I don’t think so! What do you really want to know? I hope your list is long, but don’t try to ask all those questions in one night.
No list will ever be complete enough so you have to be comfortable with your mate’s values vs. specific questions. If you wanted to have children and your mate did not, I would say that is a deal breaker. If your attitude about debt is radically different, I would say you are not compatible. If your goal is to go into your own business and your mate sees that as too risky, you would miss out on your dream. Compromise is important, but not on significant issues. More people divorce because of money problems so don’t take this lightly. Not discussing it is not an option!
As I indicated, there is a lot of things a credit score will not tell you about a person. The credit score makes no judgment about your financial choices! If your outstanding debt is under 30% of your credit limit, you will have a good credit score, but all of your debt is credit card debt at 18+% interest. You could have the same score and your outstanding debt is a mortgage. You have 50% equity in your home and your mate has just debt. Is this a match? On the surface, I would want more answers.
Dating, marriage and relationships are much more complicated. I don’t think anything can replace a conversation, perhaps a very long one. Remember, financial compatibility is just one of the important issues. I prefer understanding someone’s values because I could never ask enough questions. Values are broader statements that usually do not change and tells me more about the person than 100 question interrogation. If you don’t know, it would be a broad question such as how do you feel about having children or debt or what are your long range goals?
If you think a dating service questionnaire will solve your compatibility issues, I have bridge for you! Nothing replaces getting to know the other person for a period of time. Getting comfortable with his/her values and the person before a serious relationship can lead to something like marriage. I remember a good friend in college who had a checklist for dating. If the girl did not meet his criteria, he did not go out. The result was he had no dates in college. I think it is a bit extreme and impractical. You should meet a lot of people to find what works and what doesn’t. Perhaps online dating will help in this respect?
Photo by: Bart Claeys
Jenny @ Frugal Guru Guide says
There are gimmicky dating sites, and then there those…
It makes me glad I am not dating!
My Financial Independence Journey says
I think a good credit score might indicate that someone is at least responsible enough to do such things as hold a job and pay their bills on time. Both are generally prerequisites to running a household successfully.
There’s a lot of things that a credit score doesn’t tell you, but it could be a quick and dirty way of screening out adult children.
It may be similar to taking one’s temperature which is just one indication of health.
I’m not sure how I would feel if I was a 20 something and somebody I was dating asked me about my credit score. I always had a good score, but I’m not sure how I would feel about that. I guess if you sign up for one of these dating sites, the question will already be answered for you 🙂
Dating has sure changed over the years! There are a lot more questions or just more to be aware of before you are serious.
Ha! I guess I shouldn’t be surprised this exists – there’s a first for everything.
If successful, it makes me feel I should have thought of it.
KK @ Student Debt Survivor says
Love the comparison between credit scores and BMI. I might appear healthy and slim, but have super high cholesterol, or uncontrolled diabetes. Same concept for debt-great credit score (good reliable payback of debt) but a huge sum of debt. I too am glad I’m no longer dating. Fun post!
Thanks, I thought I would share some of the information I come across in my reading.
John S @Frugal Rules says
Oh, how I am glad that I am no longer dating! 🙂 Dating sites are one thing…this is a completely whole new level.
I am glad that I could be of service!
Brick By Brick Investing | Marvin says
This is funny because I recently talked to a friend this weekend who literally married into debt in excess of $50k and DID NOT KNOW IT! How does this happen!? I think in his situation who would love a dating service like this =)
It shows you that people do not talk about money! I imagine this person in debt would not have used one of these site.
I can see it now….”Hey, that’s a great credit score you’ve got there….want to go out sometime?” …maybe not the world’s best pickup line.
Although I could become the sexiest guy because of my credit score! 🙂
My husband had horrible credit when I met him. He’d been in a relationship that had joint accounts, and it didn’t work out, and they apparently just quit paying them. We worked pretty hard to fix it only to run up a bunch of debt. $30K in credit card debt, but we still had great FICO scores!
FICO scores can be misleading! Nothing replaces communication.
Very level-headed analysis. Congrats on the killer credit score!
I never knew it was so attractive! 🙂
Grayson @ Debt Roundup says
I just don’t like this idea. I had a great credit score but was still in $50k of debt. My score didn’t show my irresponsibility. Just another gimmick.
If it starts the conversation, it might be worth it.
Canadian Budget Binder says
It’s not surprising at all but why waste time if one is not interested in someone that has problems with their finances if that’s not what you want. I also know that a credit score may not mean someone is not buried in debt they may be just good at paying it off. It might have it’s pros and cons but if someone is dead set about getting into a relationship with someone who has debt or is rubbish with money, than just ask. Don’t waste each others time.
I agree! I think you have to have a conversation about money or you are looking for future problems.
Wayne @ VisualFin says
I think those sites are onto something. I’m happily married and have never met anybody online, but if I used one of these sites, I would like to know that the person is financially responsible.
I broke off a previous engagement after finding out that my fiancé had declared bankruptcy to eliminate thousands in debt that she racked up. The fact that she could spend money that they did not have and then feel like it was OK to not pay her bills reflected poorly on her character.
Although I think there is a lot of factors that make or break a good relationship, a good FICO score is just one of them.
That’s funny about those sites. I didn’t talk about money too much when I was first dating but it did start to come up more over time. I agree that it takes time to really get to know someone and know if it’s going to be a long term fit or not.
The funny thing about money is it is always there whether you talk about it or not. Better to have an understanding and a plan both can follow.
Daisy @ Add Vodka says
I heard about this! Interesting. I started dating my boyfriend 6 (7?) years ago when I didn’t care about credit scores or money at all. Luckily he’s good with it. I don’t know what a credit score tells you about somebody’s financial behaviour, though.
I agree! A good credit score just indicates that you are responsible about paying your bills. There is still a lot more that you should want to know.
This is awesome! I would totally go for it if I wasn’t married! 😀
It is certainly one way to screen out the flakes. 🙂