Average, Normal, Expected and Ordinary

by Krantcents · 31 comments

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Average, Normal, Expected and Ordinary are words no one wants to hear!  I know I didn’t when I was in high school.  I remember hearing the Head Counselor telling my mother I was average.  That hurt!  Did it matter I was in a high performing prep school?  Was I average compared to the other students?  Hearing that evaluation motivated me to excel in everything.  Words can change you!

Words are important and can change your behavior, thinking and even what you achieve.  In my first job, I received my first work review.  They were happy with my work and said so in the review.  They said I exceeded all expectations.  They wanted to give me more responsibility and a raise.  They said all the right things to keep me happy.  Words are powerful; the right words can make you happy.  I had bigger dreams and was looking for a change.  Did their words motivate me to take a risk?  I was looking for a better future.  I believed their words and listened to my heart!

Was I just being ambitious?  Why would I want to leave a secure job that appreciated my performance for one that is unknown?  Did it scare me?  Yes, but I was willing to take a chance for the better opportunity.  Unlike the words that I heard from my high school counselor, the words in my head were genius, unique and extraordinary.  Did I have good self esteem?  Yes!  It developed over time from a history of accomplishments that I started to realize were extraordinary.

I left that first job and continued to hear the words that encouraged me to do better.  Years later, I realized that I wanted to work for myself versus working for others.  It took time, disappointments, relocation fears, unreasonable expectations and a desire to work for myself.  I started investing in rental property and increased both in size, scope and income to ultimately turn it into a business.  When you are running a business, you are constantly concerned with cash flow.  You want to achieve the expected amount.

Words are powerful!  When it comes to investment returns, there is always a disclaimer that the legal department probably required to add to their prospectus.  The disclaimer of past performance does not guarantee future performance is in some form in every prospectus.  It seems obvious, but we rely on the numbers and sometimes we are surprised at the results.  Historical numbers create an expectation such as increase in value.  There are many instances that the clarification makes it harder to understand.  If you do not believe it, just look at a credit card disclosure form.

If you want to influence an outcome, just tell your girl she is pretty or beautiful in that bikini.  Tell her she is smart or sexy and mean it!  It has the opposite effect, if you do not mean it.  Words are powerful!  They can help you get what you want or prevent you from getting what you want.  Suddenly there is a reason that you took that English class.  Communicating in writing or speaking can either help you or destroy you.  The words do not only affect your psyche, but others as well.

The right words create positive feelings and the wrong ones do not!  Are you so fragile that just an encouraging word changes your day and others can destroy your day?.  When did you recognize the power of words?  Positive words create a positive environment.  What words do you say to yourself?  Are they positive or negative?  Words are powerful and can change you and the people around you.  What are you going to do?  Average, Normal, Expected and Ordinary are words that can change results.

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{ 30 comments }

Aaron Hung February 29, 2012 at 4:49 am

That’s true, words can come a longg way. Especially to your wife, because happy wife is happy life

Krantcents February 29, 2012 at 6:29 am

Very true! When my wife is happy, everything is okay.

BusyExecutiveMoneyBlog February 29, 2012 at 4:59 am

This is so true. Words are powerful. Great communicators can find success in almost any occupation. In contrast, a poor communicator really has limited options in life.

Krantcents February 29, 2012 at 6:32 am

Communication is an important element for everyone. Much more is done in writing and can be misunderstood.

Get Rich Point February 29, 2012 at 5:19 am

I can see you have associated morale with words. Encouraging words can motivate and average words or no words at all can demoralize. The proper use of words definitely, helps in business as well.

Krantcents February 29, 2012 at 6:35 am

In most cases, it is what is said, but what is not said can be equally important. I know when my students ask for a recommendation letter, I tell them I have to be honest. It may mean a very short letter for some students. What is interesting, every time I gave a recommendation letter it is very effective. My students receive scholarships and entrance to top universities. It could be who I am recommending or it could be the words.

Dollar D @ The Dollar Disciple February 29, 2012 at 7:56 am

Words definitely carry more weight than most people think. What is said, how it’s said, and as you mentioned in the comments: what’s left unsaid. All of this can have a profound impact on us.

Especially when we are young. When we are young and impressionable, we learn how to treat the world, and how to treat ourselves, from our parents. You might not remember a particular conversation but it could stick in your child’s mind forever.

Krantcents February 29, 2012 at 8:07 am

I agree, I remember my parents were never very expressive, positive or encouraging. I spent a lifetime to prove myself because of that. So what is not said is just as important as what is said! Everyone reacts differently to these and other circumstances.

Marie at FamilyMoneyValues February 29, 2012 at 12:00 pm

True! I have tried very hard over the years to develop a second skin, to protect against words that hurt from others who don’t matter in my life. I’ve also tried hard to avoid reading my own thoughts into other people’s words.

Krantcents February 29, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Words are very powerful! We are sensitive to words directed to us, I hope I am equally sensitive to the words I use.

Shaun @ Money Cactus March 1, 2012 at 4:00 am

Insightful post. It is super important to choose your words carefully and unfortunately it has taken me a while to learn this. I’m still pretty bad at it in a work setting as I tend to say what I think before considering the impact. Something to keep working on ;)

Krantcents March 1, 2012 at 6:29 am

Recognizing the problem is the first step to the cure. As a teacher, I learned how a little encouragement goes a long way with students. I think it works with everyone.

Ella March 1, 2012 at 11:09 am

Your school anecdote made me think of all the poor kids who hear such words and get demoralized… Good it worked the other way for you :-)

Krantcents March 1, 2012 at 11:41 am

Everyone reacts differently to the same words. Some would think I did not mean, because that is their experience. Others are inspired because they never heard it from any adult. Unfortunately, teachers are substitute parents.

Hunter - Financially Consumed March 1, 2012 at 1:05 pm

The words we choose convey so much. It’s always wise think before you speak. Great post KC.

Krantcents March 1, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Thanks, words are very powerful! Politicians, sales, marketing, advertising to name just a few understand this very well.

Dannielle @ Odd Cents March 1, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Nice post. I agree with you. Words can do more damage than you can imagine.And just because the person does not retaliate or make a big scene, does not mean that they were not hurt by something someone said to them.

Krantcents March 1, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Psychological abuse is much more damaging than physical abuse. Sometimes it is not even what is said, but how you treat people.

Shilpan March 1, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Words indeed can make a world of difference. My father taught me something early on in my life that has proved to be the best source of inspiration. Before I begin my day, I tell myself, “I’m getting better every day in every way. I am getting what I want. I am the happiest person on the Earth.” These simple assertions can do wonder to your subconscious. I was very timid in my young life but, with positivity, I have achieved success.

Krantcents March 1, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Positive thinking can do wonders. Being a morning person, I feel very energized. I usually greet my students with a spirited “good morning” to start their day positively. Their reaction is slow, but I am getting them to respond.

Paul @ The Frugal Toad March 1, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Words have tremendous power! The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale is one of my favorites on the subject.

Krantcents March 2, 2012 at 6:31 am

Although I never read that particular book, I agree positive thinking is extremely important.

Kris @ Everyday Tips March 2, 2012 at 5:15 am

This is so true. I remember our employer years ago had the ‘meets expectations’, ‘exceeds expectations’, etc for our performance reviews. People were so nervous about how they would be rated each year. However, a new boss came in and he rated almost everyone ‘meets expectations’, even the great performers. The thought was he did it in hopes of getting even better performance and giving people something to strive for. But, as you said, if the words aren’t real, people ignore them, or just get mad.

Krantcents March 2, 2012 at 6:35 am

Performance reviews should not surprise employees. My employees always knew where they stood during the year. Communication in both directions is very important.

My University Money March 4, 2012 at 4:49 pm

I constantly try to get this point across to my students. That using the precise word they want can make a big difference in communication. I find that teachers often don’t understand this, and actually, with the terminology we have shifted to in schools, I’m not sure administrators understand it either. A student does their homework “sometimes” vs “usually” what constitutes the difference between these terms will differ from person to person. This renders it pretty ineffective overall.

Krantcents March 4, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Words are important because it is the way we express ourselves. The appropriate choice of words is equally important.

Darwin's Money March 5, 2012 at 8:08 pm

I have to deliver performance reviews next week. So I can be just like my boss, I’ve written about “strengths” and “x”. Guess what X is? It’s not weaknesses. It’s “opportunities”. It means the same thing but it sounds nicer I suppose; gotta play by the PC playbook…

Krantcents March 6, 2012 at 6:43 am

Remember a review should not be a surprise to the employee. Whenever I want an employee to change, I implemented a plan and monitored the progress.

Thad P @ thadthoughts.com March 11, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Words have amazing weight. I think the ancients (and perhaps non-Western cultures) understood that better. More than anything, I think we need to speak words of encouragement when they are genuinely in order.

Krantcents March 11, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Words can encourage or discourage! Sometimes it is the same words. I try very hard to be positive and encouraging despite a lot of negativity.

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